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Say no more , Its Chandler Bing & his wit comes in handy. I will deliver a collection of his wonderful quotes in 5 parts. Heres d 1 st one.


A trivia about Perry : Mathew Perry''s (Chandler Bing) wit is so legendary that the scriptwriters have often incorporated his gags into the show itself. Some of the lines are Perry''s addition. 


(1) (Joey''s father has a GF whom chandler is ordered (By Joey) to show his bedroom where she can spend the night)

Chander: "I''ll show you to my room.... That sounds so weird when it isn''t followed by ''no thanks, it''s late.''"


(2) (While talking about his job , as a Data Processor)

CHANDLER: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don''t input those numbers,... it doesn''t make much of a difference...


(3) Monica : Shut Up ! the camera adds 10 pounds.
Chandler(making a comment about Monica''s rather large figure in the prom video): "So how many cameras were actually on you?"


(4) (Chandler with to a model (Jill) in the ATM machine vetibule - in the blackout)

Chandler: "[Voice over] Gum would be perfection?? Gum would be perfection!? I could have said `Gum would be nice,` or `Yes, I''ll have a stick.` But no, for me... gum is PERFECTION!! I loathe myself!"


(5) Chandler: "You know what, i can ''handle'' it; handle''s my middle name. Actually, it''s the uh, middle part of my first name."



(6) Ross: "The doctor got the ''K'' out. They also found an ''M'' and an ''O.''"
Chandler: "We think he was trying to spell out ''Monkey.''"


(7) (After they are robbed , thanks to joey....)
Ross: "What did the insurance company say?"
Chandler: "Oh, thay daid ''you don''t have insurance here so stop calling us''".


(Cool Chandler: Hey it''s the most eligible man in NY. How''s the moving on going?

Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.

Chandler: Well maybe you''re going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....


This last two is one of my best :


(9) Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!
Hey come with me!

Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?

Ross: You don''t have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break the
ice with some kind of jokes so that they know you''re the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, so
they''ll see that I''m the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...

Chandler (after a pause, he chuckled) : I thought I had to make the jokes! 


10) (Monica & Chandler is having a conversation about how flirting means to a guy & a girl)
Chandler : See , when you flirt with a guy, you think, I''m just flirting , no big deal ! But the guy is

thinking finally somebody who wants to sleep with me .
Monica : No way .
Chandler : Its true.
Monica : but thats phthetic.
Chandler : Again true.
Monica : this goes for all guys?
Chandler : All guys who are awake ! Then we go to sleep and all guys from other end of the world, wake up and behave in the exact same way !

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To Be Contd .........